Daily Brief

A Fairy Tale of Bank Rate

2 minute read

It was Christmas Eve, babe

In the central bank

An old man said to me

Bank Rate will soon be 1

And then he rattled on

About a new black swan

And how inflation’s not

So transitory


Got out at half past one

And turned my phone back on

I started scrolling

And had a beer or two

So cross your fingers

I think that maybe

It will very soon be time

For more hikes to come through


There are bitcoins galore in deposits offshore

But the Bank says they’re dodgy and not worth the score

When the governor said that a rate hike’s ahead

He promised that profit was waiting for me


It was handsome, it was pretty

And the boys in the City

Lent me money for nothing

And tried to lend more

They thought the Old Lady

Was fickle and shady

And the rate hikes she promised

Would not come to light


The boys of the Bank’s MPC choir

Were getting in the way

But the drinks will sort them out

On Christmas day


This is dumb, this is bunk

This hike’s not a slam dunk

And the prospect ahead

Isn’t guaranteed bread

You chancer you braggart

You cheap lousy maggot

Happy Christmas; this farce might just cost us our jobs


The boys of the Bank’s MPC choir

Still getting in the way

But the drinks will sort them out

On Christmas day


I could have sold the pound

Well so could anyone

But it takes nerves of steel

To go long sterling

I paid my margin in

Built my position up

And with a bit of luck

I’ll have enough to treat you



With apologies to Jem Finer and Shane MacGowan


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